I decided to take a Mary Sue test for Kioku, the original-character youkai-of-the-day for my Saiyuki fanfic. The test can be found here:
hereThe Name + Is the character named after you (this includes your first, middle, and last names, and any nicknames or online names you use)? [20 points]No.
0 points
+ Is the character's name an unusual spelling of a more common word or name? [3 points] His name is Kioku, which is japanese for Memory. I've used the standard romanization, I believe.
0 points
+ Is the character's name a noun or adjective not normally used as a name? [2 points]Yes, it's a noun. I've never seen it used as a name before.
2 points.
+ Does the character's name contain unnecessary hyphens, apostrophes, or other punctuation? (e.g. M'chelle, Gloria-Angelica, etc.) [4 points]Nope, just letters.
0 points.
+ Does the character have more than one first, middle, or last name, without reason? [3 points]He only has one name.
0 points.
+ Does the character have a name you really, really like? [1 point]
+ Is it Raven? [3 points]
+ Is it a variation of Raven? [1 point]
+ Is it Hunter? [5 points]Yes, I like the name. No, it's not Raven, Hunter, or any variation thereof.
1 point.
+ Does the character's name describe her/his personality? (e.g. Tristan means sad, Darcy means dark, Charity means charity, etc.) [1 points]Kioku means Memory, and he has the power to repress or extract them. Yes.
1 point.
+ Is the character's name just generally unusual in relation to the time or place where she/he lives or grew up? [1 point]Not particuarly.
0 points.
+ Does the character have a nickname or pseudonym? [1 point]
+ Is it a "dangerous" nickname (e.g. Death Dealer, Crimson Fury, etc.)? [3 points]No nickname.
0 points.
+ Is the character's name foreign, even though the character isn't? [1 point]
+ Is it an Asian name? [2 points]Yes, it's an Asian name, but the character IS Asian, so it fits.
0 points.
+ Does the character have a name or nickname that corresponds to a mythological/literary/historical/etc. figure (e.g. Venus, Faustus, Bonaparte)? [1 point]No.
0 points.
Appearance+ Does the character appear to be much younger than she/he really is? [3 points]
[Only add 1 point if the character is immortal.] [1 point]No, he looks his age.
0 points.
+ Is the character highly attractive? [3 points]
[Add only 1 point if the character has to work really hard to maintain her/his physical beauty.]He's better dressed and has better hygene than his gang, but his gang are just hired thugs. Physicall attractiveness isn't mentioned, as it's not important to the story.
0 points.
+ Are one or more other characters attracted to her/him? [1 point]
+ Even though they are involved with someone else? [1 point]
+ In defiance of sexual orientation? [4 points]Not romantically involved with anybody in the fanfic.
0 points.
+ Is an otherwise chaste or stoic character immediately attracted to her/him? [3 point]Nobody's attracted to him. The story focuses on the official characters.
0 points.
+ Does the character have an unusual eye color, or otherwise exceptional eyes? [3 points]
+ And are these eyes a color that does not occur in nature? [1 point]
+ And will they have something to do with the plot? [2 points]They're red, but he's a youkai, and thus it's a normal eye colour for his species.
0 points.
+ Does the character have eyes that somehow reflect hidden depths or experience or sorrow? [4 points]No. He's not paid attention to enough for anyone to notice if it were, in the fic.
0 points.
+ Does the character have an appearance unsuited to the time or place (e.g. perfect hair prior to the invention of shampoo, a woman wearing pants in 1805, etc.)? [3 points]Doesn't look any better than the other characters.
0 points.
+ Does the character get a disproportionate amount of physical description compared to the rest of the characters? [2 points]He's the only one described. I thought the other characters were obvious, being official characters, and since there's memory loss involved, I have to describe him so you know it is him.
2 points.
+ Does the character have unusual or exceptional hair, or does her/his hair get a disproportionate amount of description compared to that of the other characters? [3 points]Not out of the ordinary in style or colour.
0 points.
+ Is the character a fashion plate (this applies to any style of dress, from preppie to goth to Western to Elvish, and so on)? [2 points]No more than anyone else.
0 points.
+ Does the character dress in a manner you find particularly attractive, sexy, or cool? [1 point]
+ Even though it's illogical for the character to dress this way (for monetary reasons, for instance, or because it interferes with her/his job)? [3 pointsMaybe somewhat, but he still can't compare to the official characters.
0 points.
+ Is the character ever described as "thin enough to be anorexic," where this is intended as a compliment? [1 point]No.
0 points.
[Subtract 3 points if the character is over 20 and appears much older than she/he really is.]He appears his age.
-0 points.
[Subtract 3 points if the character is overweight for the full duration of the story. "Buxom" does not count.]He's of normal weight for his height.
-0 points.
Character+ Does the character have a clone or identical twin? [7 points]
[Add only 1 point if there are a large number of clones in your story, and your character is neither the original nor above average in prowess.]No clones involved.
0 points.
+ Is the character of above average intelligence? [1 point]
+ Is she/he a genius? [1 points]Somewhat, but not excessively.
1 point.
+ Is the character related to royalty or nobility? [4 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character rich or well-to-do, although she/he doesn't work? [1 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character heir to a large fortune? [1 points]
+ The sole heir? [1 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character the last surviving member of a family/clan/race/species/etc.? [2 points]This hasn't been established either way. It's not important to the story.
0 points.
+ Was the character ever the sole survivor of a calamity? [4 points]No.
0 points.
+ Was the character ever estranged from her/his family/tribe/country/etc.? [1 points]Not established. Not important.
0 points.
+ Was the character ever forcibly banished from her/his family/tribe/country/etc.? [3 points]Not established. Not important.
0 points.
+ Does the character have amnesia? [4 points]
+ And does she/he still retain a trinket of some kind from her/his past? [4 points]
[Subtract 1 point if the character never remembers any of what she/he has forgotten.]He doesn't have amnesia; he causes it.
0 points.
+ Is the character a minority, a woman, or a member of a lower caste, who succeeds or makes a contribution in spite of her/his social disadvantage? [3 points]Nope.
0 points.
+ Does the character have an angsty childhood, or an angsty past? [1 point]
+ And does she/he angst about it during the story? (Angsting does not necessarily include simply relating events to an interested third party.) [2 points]Not established. Past not important to the story.
0 points.
+ Does the character have angst in the present? [1 point] No.
0 points.
+ Was the character an illegitimate birth? [1 point]No.
0 points.
+ Was the character ever abducted? [1 point] No.
0 points.
+ Was the character abandoned by her/his caregivers? [2 point]No.
0 points.
+ Was the character born into slavery, or forced into slavery or prostitution? [1 point]No.
0 points.
+ Was the character born/raised in extreme poverty? [1 point]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Did the character run away from home? [1 point]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Did the character ever suffer physical or emotional abuse [2 points]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Did the character ever suffer sexual abuse [2 points]
[Add another point if it was rape.]
[Add another point if it was incest.]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Does the character feel guilty about something terrible that happened in the past? [1 point]
+ Even despite overwhelming evidence that it wasn't her/his fault? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character consider her/his beauty/talent/skill/etc. a curse? [3 points]No. He very much enjoys it.
0 points.
[Subtract 2 points if the character is a protagonist but ever freely, willingly, and knowingly worked for the villain/evil regime.]He is the villain.
-0 points.
More on Character + Is the character unusually accomplished for her/his age/species/etc.? [2 points]No.
0 points
+ Is the character fluent in more than two languages? [1 point]
+ More than four languages? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Has the character traveled extensively? [1 point]Yes. His job requires it.
1 point.
+ Does the character collect things you consider intellectual or cultured? [1 point]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Does the character have a faithful pet or animal familiar? [1 point]
+ That isn't a dog, cat, horse, or bird? [3 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character educated despite living in a time or place where education is not widespread? [2 points]
[Add another 2 points if the character is not a scribe, monk, priest, scholar, etc.]No more than everybody else.
0 points.
+ Is the character consistently irreverent or radical, without repercussions? [1 point]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character ever easily learn a difficult skill (e.g. learn to play guitar in a matter of weeks)? [3 point]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character have an amazing singing voice? [1 point]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
[Subtract 3 points if the character has ever fairly lost in any kind of duel, fight, or competition against someone of equal or lesser ability, and the winner was not the character's rival.]The only ones he's mention fighting are his main opponents.
-0 points.
+ Does the character play a musical instrument well? [1 point]
+ Is it guitar? [1 point]
+ Bass? [1 point]
+ Violin? [1 point]
+ Flute? [1 point]
+ Piano? [1 point]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character use a katana or any other Asian weapon [1 point]
+ Despite being of non-Asian heritage? [3 points]No weapon.
0 points.
+ Does the character "just know things"? [5 points]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character have an accent relative to her/his country of residence? [1 point]No accent mentioned.
0 points.
+ Does the character have a major quirk or habit in common with you (e.g. drinks the same brand of soda as you, talks to pets the same way you do, etc.)? [2 points]Nope.
0 points.
+ Does the character have a physical handicap that does not hinder her/him significantly? [6 points]No handicap.
0 points.
[Subtract 4 points if the character is significantly physically handicapped.]Not handicapped.
-0 points.
[Subtract 10 points if the character is significantly mentally handicapped.]Not Handicapped.
-0 points.
+ Do animals or children instinctively like the character? [3 points]No.
0 points.
[Subtract 1 point if the character is a smoker.]Non-smoker.
0 points.
[Subtract 2 points if the has a dependency or addiction that is or would be very hard to break (e.g. alcoholism, drugs, gambling, sex addiction, a potentially dangerous sexual fetish, etc.)]
[Subtract another point if the character never overcomes this vice.]No addictions mentioned.
0 points.
[Subtract 2 points if the character has a significant personality flaw (e.g. she/he is a spoiled brat, is horribly judgmental or biased, is irrationally violent, is naive and easily manipulated, etc.)]Arrogant and overconfident.
-2 points.
[Subtract another point if these flaws persist until the character's death, OR subtract another 2 points if these flaws persist beyond the end of the story.]Overconfidence results in his death.
-1 point.
[Subtract another 2 points if these flaws get the character in serious trouble (e.g. she/he gets fired, gets killed, gets someone else hurt, etc.)]He gets killed.
-2 points.
+ Does the character have a special birthmark or other marking? [4 points]Yes, but all members of his species do. It's not special.
0 points.
+ Does the character have a physical "flaw" that does not actually detract from her/his beauty (e.g. lips too full, white strip in hair, missing one toe, etc.)? [2 points]No flaw. No particular gift appearance-wise, either.
0 points.
+ Does the character have wings (this counts even if she/he is an angel, only has wings sometimes, can't fly, etc.) [10 points]No wings.
0 points.
[Subtract 1 point for each of the following that applies to the character:
She/he remains in a committed relationship for the full duration of your story.
She/he has a child or children for the greater part of your story.
She/he does not learn from major mistakes.
She/he has very little or no empathy for other people.
She/he is selfishly manipulative or sadistic (e.g. threatens self-harm, lies, blackmails, etc. in order to get her/his way).]Doesn't learn from his mistake (kinda hard, since it kills him)
Doesn't empathise with the Sanzo-ikkou
Quite manipulative.
-3 points.
Work and Play+ Is the character astonishingly good at something that is not her/his profession? [1 point]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Does the character have any particular skill at which she/he the best or among the best? [2 points]
+ And is she/he widely knows for this skill? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character have any particular area of study/information/etc. in which she/he is the most knowledgeable or among the most knowledgeable? [2 points]
+ And is she/he widely known for having this knowledge? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character the sole or last practitioner of a particular martial art or magic? [3 points]Not necessarily.
0 points.
+ Is the character one of only two practitioners of a particular martial art or magic, in a master/student relationship? [3 points]
+ Does the other practitioner die during the course of the story? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character hold your job? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character hold your dream job? [3 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character a female in a role not suited for women in the place/time period (e.g. a female cop before 1900, a female soldier in the US army before 1970, etc.)? [5 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character a male in a role not suited for men in the place/time period (e.g. a male geisha, a coy young seamstress boy, etc.)? [5 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character a secret agent? [1 point]
+ A double agent? [2 points]
+ And wears high heels or leather? [5 points]He's an assassin, not a secret agent.
0 points.
Is the character, or was she/he ever... (add points for all that apply)
+ A model? [1 point]
+ A rock star? [2 points]
+ A stage actress/actor? [1 point]
+ A film actress/actor? [2 points]
+ A dancer? [2 points]
+ A cop? [1 point]
+ A ninja? [2 point]
+ A pirate? [2 point]
+ An alchemists? [1 point]
+ A bounty hunter? [2 points]
+ A mercenary? [1 point]
+ An assassin? [1 point]
+ A thief or pickpocket? [2 points]
+ An outlaw or member of organized crime? [2 points]
+ A diviner? [1 point]
+ A hero? [2 points]
+ A starving artist? [2 points]
+ A freelance writer? [1 point]
+ A freelance reporter? [1 point]
+ An explorer? [2 points]
+ A pro-athlete? [1 point]
+ A gymnast? [1 point]He's an assassin.
1 point.
[If your character exists in an otherwise normal universe, add 2 points to her/his score for *each* of the following abilities that your character possesses (with or without the aid of charms, spells, etc.). If, however, possession of these abilities is considered normal in your character's universe, add only one point each.]
+ Teleportation
+ Telepathy
+ Telekinesis
+ Pyrokinesis
+ Prophecy
+ Healing
+ Animal communication
+ Empathy
+ Shapeshifting abilities
+ Invisibility
+ Invulnerability
+ Flight
+ The ability to pass through matter
+ General magic or sorcery
+ Time travel
+ Transdimensional travel or communication
+ Photographic memory
+ The ability to see auras
+ Summoning
+ Power of seduction
+ The ability to shrug off minor wounds
+ The ability to kill people with her/his bare hands
+ Super strength or speed
+ Skill in martial arts or hand-to-hand combat
+ Sharp-shooting
+ Sleight of hand
+ Computer hackingHe has the power to repress or extract memories, which isn't listed. It would fall within the normal range for Youkai.
0 points.
+ Does the character share more than one of your hobbies or interests? [1 point]
+ And is she/he better at these hobbies or more knowledgeable about these interests than you are? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character excel in a field you wish you excelled in? [1 point]No.
0 points.
+ Does the character have the same taste in music as you have? [1 point]
+ In books? [1 point]
+ In movies? [1 point]
[Add another 5 points if you said yes to all three.]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Does the character have what you consider better or more refined taste than you have in music? [1 point]
+ In books? [1 point]
+ In movies? [1 point]Not extablished; not important.
0 points.
+ Does the character have the same religious or spiritual beliefs as you? [2 points]I'm Catholic. He lives in a world based on Buddhism.
0 points.
[Subtract 3 points if her/his beliefs are radically different from yours for the full duration of the story.]Once again, I'm catholic, his whole world is buddhist.
-3 points.
Immortals, Gods, Fay, etc.(This section only applies if your character is immortal, or of a species other than human.)He's youkai, so it applies.
+ Is the character a vampire? [5 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character an elf? [5 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character a shinigami? [5 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the an angel or fallen angel? [10 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character old, even by the standards of her/his race? [3 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character exceptionally powerful, even by the standards of her/his race? [3 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character exceptionally beautiful, even by the standards of her/his race? [3 points]No.
0 points.
+ Was the character present at more than one earthly historical event? [5 points]
+ Because she/he instigated it? [3 points]No.
0 points.
+ Was the character ever the inspiration for classical art, poetry, etc. (e.g. she was the Mona Lisa, or Shakespeare wrote a sonnet for her)? [8 points]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character the only immortal or non-human in the story? [3 points]Nope, 1 1/2 of the heroes are of the same race, as well as the Chief Villain.
0 points.
+ Was the character made immortal, etc., by divine intervention? [1 point]No.
0 points.
+ Is the character a crossbreed of species (e.g. half-vampire, half-demon, etc.)? [2 point]
[Subtract 3 points if one of these species is goblin, slime monster, etc.]
+ And does the she/he have the benefits of both species? [3 points]
+ And the drawbacks of neither? [5 points]
[Subtract 3 points if the character has no benefits from either species.]He's fully Youkai.
0 points.
+ Does the character angst about being immortal? [2 points]Not immportal.
0 points.
+ Does the character angst about being a vampire? [3 points]Not a Vampire.
0 points.
High School(This section only applies if your character is currently attending high school or middle school.)Not in school.
0 points for the whole section
+ Is your character top of her/his class? [2 points]
+ Is the character president or head of a school organization or group (e.g. head cheerleader, first-chair violin, editor of the school paper, class president, etc.) [2 points]
+ Is the character on a sports team? [1 point]
+ Is she/he the team captain? [1 point]
+ The star player? [1 point]
+ From her/his very first time playing? [3 points]
+ Is the character in the play? [1 point]
+ Does she/he have the lead role? [1 point]
+ Despite having never been in drama class before? [2 points]
+ Does the character give the winning or star performance in a school event (e.g. battle of the bands, debate, a sports game, a spelling bee)? [1 point]
+ Is this success totally unexpected? [2 point]
+ Is the character bullied for her/his sexual orientation, skin color, intelligence, poverty/wealth, looks, clothes, background, etc.? [2 points]
+ Is it because the bullies are jealous? [3 points]
+ Do the bullies eventually see the error of their ways, or else receive some form of retribution? [2 points]
+ Does the character ever beat up more than two bullies at the same time? [5 points]
+ Is the character part of a clique that you consider cool (e.g. goths, punks, ravers, skaters, etc.)? [2 points]
+ And does the character actually refer to her/himself as a part of said clique? [3 points]
+ Does the character rap? [1 point]
+ Is the character in a band (not including a school band or orchestra)? [1 point]
+ Is she/he the lead singer? [2 points]
+ Does she/he write all the band's songs? [2 points]
+ Is the band good enough to go professional? [2 points]
+ Does the character have a boyfriend or girlfriend who is out of high school? [4 points]
+ Does the character keep a notebook of poetry? [1 point]
+ Is the poetry "good enough to be published"? [3 points]
+ Does a love interest find this poetry book and begin to understand the character? [5 points]
+ Or does an antagonist find this poetry book and use it against the character? [4 points]
+ Do any poems written by the character actually appear in your story? [1 point]
+ Does the poetry contain any of the following words: crimson, soul, darkness, love, vampire, glass, moonlight, serpent, rose, dance, winter, flame, cold, goddess, blood, angel, star, forever? [1 point per word]
+ Does the character have her/his own credit card and/or large amounts of disposable income? [2 points]
+ Do the character's parents have a special or glamorous job of which the character reaps the benefits (e.g. her/his parents design video games, so she/he gets games before they are officially released)? [3 points]
+ Does the character have a tattoo or body piercing? [1 point]
+ Does the character frequently get drunk or do drugs without repercussions? [1 point]
+ Does the character use Japanese words in conversation, although she/he does not live in Japan? [2 points]
+ Does the character talk about anime frequently or have lots of anime clothes, collectibles, etc.? [1 point]
+ Does the character have a pet named after an anime character? [1 point]
+ Does the character draw really well in the anime style? [1 point]
The Plot+ Has everyone significant heard of the character? [2 points]Not at the beginning, and they only learn his name halfway through.
0 points.
+ Do all of the important characters end up liking/respecting/fearing her/him? [3 points]No, they hate him.
0 points.
+ Did they all like/respect/fear her/him from the beginning? [1 point]
[Subtract 2 points if everyone liked the character at first, but ends up disliking her/him by the end of the story.]They find him annoying from the begginning.
0 points.
+ Is the character repeatedly rivalled by the same person? [3 points]He's not around long enough.
0 points.
[Subtract 1 point if the character's problems continue after the end of your story without hope of respite (i.e. she/he neither dies nor gets a happy ending).]He dies.
-0 points.
+ Is your character a member of The Resistance or a band of freedom fighters? [1 point]Nope.
0 points.
+ Is your character the leader or a lieutenant of The Resistance or a band of freedom fighters? [2 points]Nope.
0 points.
+ Does the character suffer punishment for a crime she/he did not commit? [2 points]No, he commited it.
0 points.
[Subtract 2 points if your character ever willfully commits rape or murder.]Nope.
-0 points.
[Subtract another 2 points if the character goes to prison for the crime.]No, he gets killed.
-0 points.
+ Does the character reform a villainous character? [3 points]
+ And does the villain become evil again after the character dies or leaves, but retain some last vestige of goodness from his/her interaction with the character? [2 points]He IS the villain.
0 points.
+ Does the character fall in (reciprocated) love with, or have sex with, a character you would like to fall in love with or have sex with? [3 points]Nope.
0 points.
+ Is the character someone you would like to fall in love with or have sex with? [3 points]I'd probably hate him, too.
0 points.
+ Does the character effect a major change in her/his love interest to make said love interest a more appropriate partner? [3 points]He has no love interest.
0 points.
+ Has the character ever been nursed back to health from serious injuries by a warm, kind, and loving person? [3 points]
+ Was this person the character's love interest? [2 points]Nope.
0 points.
+ Does the character die a romantic death (e.g. suicide, execution, battle wounds, broken heart, etc.)? [2 points]No, he dies as a result of Hakkai's vengeance.
0 points.
+ Does the character die in her/his beloved's arms? [3 points]Nope. He has no beloved.
0 points.
+ Does the character's beloved die in her/his arms? [3 points]Nope.
0 points.
+ Does the character sacrifice her/himself for love, or so that two other characters can be together? [4 points]No way.
0 points.
+ Have you ever written a fight scene in which you described with needless extravagence everything your character did? [2 points]
+ Was this scene inspired by a movie, show, or game? [2 points]
+ Did you actually reference the movie, show, or game (e.g. "He jumped up and hung in the air, like Neo in The Matrix"? [15 points]It isn't overly described, no.
0 points.
Your Character and You+ Do you draw the character, or ask other people to draw her/him for you, more often than any of your other characters? [2 points]No.
0 points.
+ Did you base the character on your favorite previously existing character or person? [4 points]No, I based him around his power, which was dictated by the plot.
0 points.
+ Is the character someone you would want to be friends with, assuming she/he would be receptive to friendship with you? [1 point]If he were real, I'd probably hate him.
0 points.
+ Would you be very surprised if someone did not like the character? [1 points]Not really.
0 points.
+ Do you take any negative feedback about the character as a personal affront? [4 points]No, he's the villain. You're not supposed to like him.
+ Is the character a mouthpiece for your own beliefs or views? [3 points]Heck no.
0 points.
+ Do you have a character journal for her/him? [4 points]Nope.
0 points.
+ Do you ever wish you could be like the character? [4 points]Nope.
0 points.
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Finished? All right, tally up your points. Here are the scores:My Result: -2 points.
0-10 points: The Anti-Sue. Your character is the very antithesis of a Mary-Sue. Why are you even taking this test?
